5 Names To Avoid Calling Your Pet

Over the years I’ve met many reasonably named pets. But there have been a few clangers that have stood out too. Here, for your amusement, this fine day, are five of the best (or worst - depending on your point of view).

1. Lucky. Please for pity’s sake do not call your pet this name. It’s statistically true that pet’s named Lucky fall from windows, get hit by cars, are hit by lightening and generally live a miserably short life compared to other pets. If you must use this name then you have been warned. Make sure you wrap them in cotton wool and get pet insurance (and a box of tissues).

2. Brian.I think my favourite pet name ever was a poodle called Brian. I can’t tell you exactly why that’s funny - but it still cracks me up. It’s really not appropriate to have the name Brian on this list, other than to make you aware that you will having this vet giggling when we meet in the consult room. I apologise in advance, but if you have a poodle and it is called Brian I may need a moment.

3. Mouse.Not in itself a bad name, for say, a mouse. But when you call a cat by this name (as my Aunt did) then you’re sure to have problems. Come on people, cat’s are neurotic enough without being called mouse right? Have a heart.

4. Sergeant Fluffyboots. Bibby_5, a Vet Nurse over on Reddit once had this unfortunate conversation with a pet owner. "A couple brought their cat in named Sergeant Fluffyboots. I said 'well guess that's what happens when you let the kids name the pet!' Their reply - 'we don't have kids’.” Ouch I’m feeling awkward for you Bibby_5. 😔But seriously folks, think it through. One day we’re going to have to shout out your pet’s name in the waiting room. “Is Sergeant Fluffy Boots there? Really?

5. ASBO. In case you hadn’t spotted it, calling your pet ASBO is is one of those… "it seemed like a good idea at the time moments”. But seriously, it’s not a badge of honour. And there’s only one person that this reflects on. And it’s not me... Or anyone else with a normal pet name reading this post... I’m looking at you buddy, that’s right. You.

So what are the funniest, silliest or saddest pet names you've heard of? Please share them here in the comments box below. Best ones will get a write up in a future blog and our enduring love (true) and respect (maybe).